i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
