Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
