Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
