...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
