when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
