I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
