Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
