he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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