he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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