I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
