I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
