Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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