never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
