Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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