im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
