The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude i'm inner monologue high
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
