I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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