I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize