just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
