i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
