Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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