God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
