so explain again why im purple
no
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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