So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
last night I used snow as a chaser
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