is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
