I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
