so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
birth control should be required to get into college
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
