just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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