Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
