She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
