Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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