i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
