So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
