I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
