so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
