i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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