I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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