She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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