I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
