Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
