dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
