I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
