I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need to stop coming to work sober
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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