That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
