I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
