girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
