Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
