but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
