Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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