nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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