omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
