id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
