So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
