Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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