I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize