I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
