The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Come on in and take your pants off
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