On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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