Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
