You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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