Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
