I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
