so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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