He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
