grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
