I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
