Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
