He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
PANTIES FOUND
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