My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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