He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
