we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
