Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
