Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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