At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They took my balls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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