dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
