matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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