it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
