found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
