If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
