good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
