You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she peed on how many people?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
